Something is wrong with the water tower

Shaq has woken up early this morning, and right away he notices that the grass outside his front window is starting to look very dried out. So Shaq decides that it is time to water his yard. However, when he turns on the garden hose, nothing comes out. In fact, when Shaq goes back inside his house, he discovers that the water is not working anywhere at all. Of course, Shaq is very concerned about this situation, so he decides to call the municipal water company to file a report. (See photos above and below)

At the water company headquarters (pictured below), the weekend supervisor answers the phone. He writes down Shaq's customer complaint and then performs a systems check using his computer. The weekend supervisor quickly determines that the water has been cut off throughout Lego Land. It appears that there is a problem with the main water tower that supplies water to all of Lego Land.

The weekend supervisor at the water company calls Steve Francis to notify him of the problem. Steve Francis is one of the best people in Lego Land at fixing things. (See photo below)

Steve Francis and his friend Antoine Walker head over to the water tower to see what the trouble is. (See photo below)

Steve Francis climbs straight up to the top of the water tower and gets right to work. (See photo below)

Above: The view from the top of the water tower.

Below: Antoine Walker climbs the ladder up to the top of the tower.

Steve Francis and Antoine Walker are able to quickly identify and solve the problem. Within a few hours, water service has been restored to all of Lego Land. Now everyone, including Karl Malone (pictured below), can water their lawns, wash their cars, or do whatever else it is that they need to do.

American Culture 101

Currently, there are 30 teams in the National Basketball Association (NBA). Of these 30, 29 play their homes games in the United States of America. Because of this, every player in the NBA is required by the league to have a strong working knowledge of American history, culture, and politics. In the past, several players have been issued long suspensions for failing to meet the high standards set by the NBA.

Recently, Dirk Nowitzki (below) was notified by the league that he is one of the players who has been randomly selected to take a written test that covers all aspects of American life. The test will include multiple-choice items, short answer questions, and at least one essay.

Dirk Nowitzki is, of course, worried about how he will do on this test, so he has decided to talk to his friend Karl Malone. (See photo below)

Karl Malone is more than happy to help out in any way that he can. He lends Dirk Nowitzki two very important items to study-- his Nixon/Agnew campaign button and his copy of The Collected Speeches of Spiro Agnew (published in 1971). (See photo below)

Dirk Nowitzki studies hard -- Spiro Agnew made many notable speeches in 1969 and 1970, and Dirk Nowitzki knows that he must read them all.

Now that Dirk Nowitzki is done studying, Karl Malone is helping by giving him a practice quiz (see photo below)--

• Question: Who are more dangerous-- the neo-isolationists or the radical-liberals?
• Answer: They are both more dangerous, just in different ways. (Correct)

• Question: Which rock-and-roll groups are most responsible for the blatant drug-culture propaganda that pervades our society?
• Answer: The Jefferson Airplane, Ten Years After, and Steppenwolf. (Correct)

Dirk Nowitzki passes the practice quiz with flying colors. Karl Malone is very confident that Dirk Nowitzki will so just as well or even better on the actual test.

A trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles

Last week Allen Iverson received a notice in the mail telling him that it was time for him to renew the tabs on his license plates. So today he is taking a trip down to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Little does Allen Iverson know, everybody else in town has the exact same idea.

The lines are long, and they do not move very quickly. The workers at the Department of Motor Vehicles make sure to check the paperwork thoroughly so that there will not be any mistakes.

Shaq is enjoying his conversation with the man in the blue crash helmet. They are talking about the upcoming NBA season. Meanwhile, Karl Malone is helping Predrag Stojakovic decide which forms he will need to get his driver's license.

Many people have cars and like to drive, so the Department of Motor Vehicles is often quite crowded.

Allen Iverson makes a television commercial

In addition to playing professional basketball, Allen Iverson also sometimes stars in television commercials. This summer, he has signed a contract to make commercials for Seven Up, aka the Uncola. Today is the first day of shooting. Here are some exclusive photos:

Above: Allen Iverson checks himself out in the mirror before the start of shooting.

Below: A lot goes on behind the scenes when they are making a television commercial.

Below: It can get very hot under the studio lights.

Below: Allen Iverson's friends Karl Malone and Steve Francis have come along to watch. There is plenty of Seven Up for everyone to drink.

Above: Allen Iverson battles a dragon for the can of Seven Up. This scene took many takes to get it right.

Below: Now that Allen Iverson has conquered the dragon, he climbs on its back and rides away -- all while carrying a battle flag and a can of crisp, refreshing Seven Up.

A trip to the skate park

Everyone loves a trip to the skate park to go skateboarding. Allen Iverson is there with Karl Malone, Antoine Walker, that reporter with the hook and the top hat, and some other guy with a red helmet on.

Above: AI gets ready to roll.

Below: Antoine Walker and the reporter can both ride on the board at the same time.

Below: Allen Iverson takes a nasty fall. It is a good thing that he is wearing his samurai helmet. (Don't worry -- AI is all right.)

Below: The skateboard is quite heavy -- it takes both Antoine Walker and Karl Malone to carry it.

Allen Iverson made sure we took a video of him riding the skateboard.

Tony Parker is having a party

Tony Parker and his wife, Eva Longoria Parker, are hosting a party for all their friends. Steve Francis was the first NBA player to arrive (see photo above). He was happy to see Devil Smurf there - no one likes it when they show up at a party and they don't know anybody there.

Below: Karl Malone is telling Tony Parker and Eva Longoria Parker about how happy he is that he found his real legs in time for the party.

Below: Allen Iverson enjoys his conversation with the alien guy and a man in a pointy green hat. AI doesn't mind talking to strangers.

A little one-on-one

Shaq is playing one-on-one with his friend Devil Smurf. Shaq thinks that Devil Smurf has all the tools needed to play in the NBA - he's big, he's tall, he has wings and horns. Shaq thinks he might be able to get Devil Smurf a contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers for next season.

Watching the game are Karl Malone (in the red bandana) and Steve Francis. Steve Francis is busy talking to a reporter (the guy with the top hat and the hook on his left hand).

Allen Iverson has not yet been signed

Allen Iverson has not yet been signed by an NBA team for the 2009-2010 season. To keep his mind off his troubles and do a little good work for the community, AI decided to hold a charity basketball tournament in my living room with a few of his friends-- Shaquille O'Neal, Tony Parker, Karl Malone, Antoine Walker, and Steve Francis.

Below, Iverson (right, in the samurai helmet) faces off against Tony Parker.

AI has shaken off his defender and is driving to the basket.

Below, Shaq battles Karl Malone for a rebound. Malone is wearing a red bandana and had to borrow someone else's legs because we couldn't find his.

Malone has committed a foul and now Shaq is ready to attempt a free throw.