American Culture 101

Currently, there are 30 teams in the National Basketball Association (NBA). Of these 30, 29 play their homes games in the United States of America. Because of this, every player in the NBA is required by the league to have a strong working knowledge of American history, culture, and politics. In the past, several players have been issued long suspensions for failing to meet the high standards set by the NBA.

Recently, Dirk Nowitzki (below) was notified by the league that he is one of the players who has been randomly selected to take a written test that covers all aspects of American life. The test will include multiple-choice items, short answer questions, and at least one essay.

Dirk Nowitzki is, of course, worried about how he will do on this test, so he has decided to talk to his friend Karl Malone. (See photo below)

Karl Malone is more than happy to help out in any way that he can. He lends Dirk Nowitzki two very important items to study-- his Nixon/Agnew campaign button and his copy of The Collected Speeches of Spiro Agnew (published in 1971). (See photo below)

Dirk Nowitzki studies hard -- Spiro Agnew made many notable speeches in 1969 and 1970, and Dirk Nowitzki knows that he must read them all.

Now that Dirk Nowitzki is done studying, Karl Malone is helping by giving him a practice quiz (see photo below)--

• Question: Who are more dangerous-- the neo-isolationists or the radical-liberals?
• Answer: They are both more dangerous, just in different ways. (Correct)

• Question: Which rock-and-roll groups are most responsible for the blatant drug-culture propaganda that pervades our society?
• Answer: The Jefferson Airplane, Ten Years After, and Steppenwolf. (Correct)

Dirk Nowitzki passes the practice quiz with flying colors. Karl Malone is very confident that Dirk Nowitzki will so just as well or even better on the actual test.