Monday, September 28, 2009

Allen Iverson and Antoine Walker go to the movies

Allen Iverson and Antoine Walker are very excited. Tonight they are going to the movies! Watch the video below and try to figure out what movie they are seeing.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Something is wrong with the water tower

Shaq has woken up early this morning, and right away he notices that the grass outside his front window is starting to look very dried out. So Shaq decides that it is time to water his yard. However, when he turns on the garden hose, nothing comes out. In fact, when Shaq goes back inside his house, he discovers that the water is not working anywhere at all. Of course, Shaq is very concerned about this situation, so he decides to call the municipal water company to file a report. (See photos above and below)
At the water company headquarters (pictured below), the weekend supervisor answers the phone. He writes down Shaq's customer complaint and then performs a systems check using his computer. The weekend supervisor quickly determines that the water has been cut off throughout Lego Land. It appears that there is a problem with the main water tower that supplies water to all of Lego Land.
The weekend supervisor at the water company calls Steve Francis to notify him of the problem. Steve Francis is one of the best people in Lego Land at fixing things. (See photo below)
Steve Francis and his friend Antoine Walker head over to the water tower to see what the trouble is. (See photo below)
Steve Francis climbs straight up to the top of the water tower and gets right to work. (See photo below)

Above: The view from the top of the water tower.

Below: Antoine Walker climbs the ladder up to the top of the tower.
Steve Francis and Antoine Walker are able to quickly identify and solve the problem. Within a few hours, water service has been restored to all of Lego Land. Now everyone, including Karl Malone (pictured below), can water their lawns, wash their cars, or do whatever else it is that they need to do.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

American Culture 101

Currently, there are 30 teams in the National Basketball Association (NBA). Of these 30, 29 play their homes games in the United States of America. Because of this, every player in the NBA is required by the league to have a strong working knowledge of American history, culture, and politics. In the past, several players have been issued long suspensions for failing to meet the high standards set by the NBA.

Recently, Dirk Nowitzki (below) was notified by the league that he is one of the players who has been randomly selected to take a written test that covers all aspects of American life. The test will include multiple-choice items, short answer questions, and at least one essay.
Dirk Nowitzki is, of course, worried about how he will do on this test, so he has decided to talk to his friend Karl Malone. (See photo below)
Karl Malone is more than happy to help out in any way that he can. He lends Dirk Nowitzki two very important items to study-- his Nixon/Agnew campaign button and his copy of The Collected Speeches of Spiro Agnew (published in 1971). (See photo below)
Dirk Nowitzki studies hard -- Spiro Agnew made many notable speeches in 1969 and 1970, and Dirk Nowitzki knows that he must read them all.
Now that Dirk Nowitzki is done studying, Karl Malone is helping by giving him a practice quiz (see photo below)--
  • Question: Who are more dangerous-- the neo-isolationists or the radical-liberals?
  • Answer: They are both more dangerous, just in different ways. (Correct)

  • Question: Which rock-and-roll groups are most responsible for the blatant drug-culture propaganda that pervades our society?
  • Answer: The Jefferson Airplane, Ten Years After, and Steppenwolf. (Correct)

Dirk Nowitzki passes the practice quiz with flying colors. Karl Malone is very confident that Dirk Nowitzki will so just as well or even better on the actual test.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Game night in Lego Land

Tonight Jalen Rose has invited all the NBA players over to play Clue-- "Parker Brothers Classic Detective Game". Clue is a game in which six players try to solve a mystery about which one of them committed a murder. The players also have to figure out where the murder took place and what the murder weapon was.
Below: Dirk Nowitzki and Shaq examine the roll of the dice.
Steve Francis thinks he is on to something-- he has found this lead pipe lying on the floor of the lounge. Vince Carter definitely agrees that the lounge is a strange place to find a slightly-bent lead pipe.
Meanwhile, Jalen Rose and Dirk Nowitzki are investigating the kitchen. They both believe that this large candlestick may hold important clues.
The time has come for the players to make their accusations and then to reveal the true identity of the murder. They have all gathered (see photo below) for the final showdown.
Everyone wonders-- "Who will it turn out to be?"

Sunday, September 20, 2009

How tall was William Shakespeare?

Recently, some of our readers were curious about the photo below which shows noted author William Shakespeare standing with Vince Carter and Gary Payton during the two NBA stars' trip back to the 17th century. William Shakespeare appears to quite a bit taller than both professional basketball players. This leads to an important question-- just how tall was William Shakespeare?
This afternoon, Kevin Garnett (inventor and builder of the time machine) and his friend Jalen Rose have decided to try to answer this question. Unfortunately for them, Gary Payton and Vince Carter were unable to bring back any measurements of William Shakespeare, but, by using the photo above, a few simple tools and the power of ratios, Kevin Garnett and Jalen Rose are confident that they can find the answer.
Below: Kevin Garnett and Jalen Rose are using the calculator.
Below: The two NBA stars discuss how to interpret the data and calculations.
After several minutes of work, Kevin Garnett and Jalen Rose have come up with an answer. According to their best estimate, they believe that William Shakespeare is somewhere between 10' 8" and 10' 11" tall. Both Kevin Garnett and Jalen Rose also believe that if they can find away to bring William Shakespeare to 21st century, there might be several NBA teams interested in giving him a tryout at center.

Playing soccer

Today the NBA All-Stars have decided to take a break from playing basketball, so they are playing soccer instead. They have been joined by two world-famous soccer stars -- Alexandre Pato of Brazil and Gennaro Gattuso of Italy. (See photo below - Pato is on the left next to Allen Iverson and Gattuso is on the right next to Shaq.)
Both Pato and Gattuso play professionally for AC Milan, a club that is considered so important that it is owned by Italy's long-time Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. All of the NBA stars are quite excited that they are getting the chance to play with two soccer stars as famous as Pato and Gattuso.

Here are some photos of today's historic match:

Below: Kevin Garnett gets ready to take a corner kick.
Below: Allen Iverson commits a handball inside the penalty area.
Below: Pato gets ready to take the resulting penalty kick.
Below: Pato scores on goalie Jalen Rose.
Below: Later on, Pato is fouled by Tony Parker.
Below: Gattuso and Dirk Nowitzki are fighting. Shaq and Antoine Walker rush over to break it up.

Special thanks to Dorothy for her assistance in creating this post.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Working out at the gym

During the off-season, NBA stars spend a lot of time working out in the gym so that they can be as strong as possible for the start of the regular season. Physical fitness is very important for everyone, but especially for professional basketball players because of the grueling schedule they face.
Below: Antoine Walker is lifting weights.

Above: Tony Parker works on his legs.

Below: Dirk Nowitzki builds his upper-body strength.
Below: Steve Francis rides the exercise bicycle. When he is finished, Steve Francis will enjoy an nutritious fitness shake high in protein, vitamins, and electrolytes.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Kevin Garnett has unlocked the mysteries of time travel, part two

Gary Payton and Vince Carter have traveled backwards through the ages in a time machine invented by NBA All-Star power forward Kevin Garnett. The time machine has landed outside a large castle in an unknown time and place. At first, the castle looks empty and deserted-- even the front door is closed. (See photo below)
However, soon Gary Payton and Vince Carter notice that a strange man is looking down at their time machine from the top of the castle. (See photo below) "Who can this fellow be?" they are wondering.
Gary Payton and Vince Carter decide to come out from the safety of their time machine to try to talk to the man in the castle. (See photo below)
The man in the castle turns out to be none other than William Shakespeare, author of such world-famous plays as King Lear and All's Well That Ends Well. He is very polite but also curious about who these two strange travelers might be.
Gary Payton and Vince Carter introduce themselves and tell William Shakespeare a little bit about who they are and where they have come from. Then they start to explain about the modern game of basketball and their desire to go back in time to become the first inventors of their favorite sport. At this point, William Shakespeare stops their explanation and invites them to come inside his castle so he can show them something. (See photo below) Gary Payton and Vince Carter are slightly concerned about following a stranger (even a famous one like William Shakespeare) into his house, but they decide that since they have come all this way, they might as well give it a try.
Inside of William Shakespeare's castle, Gary Payton and Vince Carter are in for the surprise of their life. William Shakespeare already knows all about basketball and even the NBA. He shows the two NBA stars his very own basketball. (It is the same brand as the one Allen Iverson has.) (See photo below)
In addition, William Shakespeare shows the two time-travelers a large poster of his favorite player, Predrag Stojakovic. (See photo below)
Before William Shakespeare can show Gary Payton and Vince Carter anything more, however, an urgent message comes in from Kevin Garnett back at the control center. (See photo below) Kevin Garnett's sensors indicate that there will soon be large disturbances throughout the space-time continuum. Gary Payton and Vince Carter need to return to the present right away or they run the risk of becoming lost forever somewhere in time and space.
With hardly any time for a goodbye, Gary Payton and Vince Carter rush back to the time machine. (See photo below) They are sad to leave so quickly, but, in a mission like this, safety is the most important aspect.
Below: The time machine hurtles back through the ages towards pre-season 2009-2010.
Below: William Shakespeare waves farewell to the two time-travelers. He is happy that they have left behind an unopened can of his second favorite drink-- Seven-Up, the Uncola.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Kevin Garnett has unlocked the mysteries of time travel, part one

NBA All-Star power forward Kevin Garnett has been working all summer long on building a time machine so that he and his friends can travel backwards and forwards through time. Recently, he finally completed his time machine, and now he is excited to try it out. The lucky first passengers will be Vince Carter and Gary Payton (see photo above). Their goal is to go back in time and become the first people to ever invent the game of basketball.
Below: Kevin Garnett's assistant makes some last-minute, minor adjustments to the time machine.
Unfortunately for Vince Carter and Gary Payton, their basketball is far too large to fit into the time machine. They decide to leave it behind and just go back in time as tourists, rather than as inventors.
Below: Gary Payton and Vince Carter enter the time machine.
Below: The time machine has been unhooked from the power supply, and now it is ready to begin the journey.
Kevin Garnett and his assistant will stay behind at the control center and make sure that everything is working correctly. (See photo below)
Inside the time machine, Gary Payton and Vince Carter travel through many centuries in the blink of an eye. (See photo below)
The time machine finally arrives in front of a large castle in a far-off, distant land. Gary Payton and Vince Carter have no idea where they are, what year it is, or whether the locals are friendly or hostile.
Both Gary Payton and Vince Carter are wondering-- "What will happen next?"

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